“We eat so many shrimps, I got iodine poisoning,” rapper Pimp C famously proclaimed. But how many shrimps would that require, exactly? The internet claims it would require 680 large shrimps for one to suffer iodine poisoning.

Were I going to attempt the consumption of 680 shrimps, I know exactly where I would want to do it: Quán Bến Đò Cây Me along the Đồng Nai River. The humble restaurant extends from the dead-end of a tangle of hẻms, and nearly teeters into a sediment-stained stretch of the unsophisticated river. Barges passing with loads of coal and pilfered sand and errant coils of rusted barbed wire will distract little from the main attraction here: shrimps.

Served steamed with beer, fried with tamarind or salt sauce, in a hot pot, or even raw, the shrimps can be ordered in small, medium, or large varieties at market price. Vegetables and noodles can also be provided for making rolls. Regardless of the particular preparation, it’s the plump, meaty prawns with fibrous antennae and sturdy limbs that I care about. If shrimps have souls, I posit they are located in the sweet, orange goo that oozes from their heads when ripped from their bodies.

You either lust for shrimps or you don’t. But if you do, and you don't feel like catching your own, this restaurant’s ability to bring plate after plate of steaming shrimps to your table without judgement will appeal. The freshness and high quality, a result, in part, of the volume they sell per day, is the main selling point here. But the ramshackle structure where beer cans pile under plastic chairs and flimsy tablecloths bear cigarette burns adds to the charm. There is no illusion of sophistication or expectation for polite table conversation to get in the way of consuming vast quantities of shrimps.

Such high-quality shrimpsare not cheap (VND440,000 per kilo on my visit), which means that on my visit, I unfortunately did not eat enough shrimps to experience the nausea, vomiting, swollen airways, and delirium indicative of iodine poisoning. I feel immense shame for not living up to Pimp C’s standards. However, the silver lining is that I can return to one of Saigon’s best places to consume shrimps.

To sum up:

• Opening time: 8am–8:30pm
• Parking: Parking is available inside the restaurant
• Contact: +84 93 978 99 11
• Average cost per person: $$$$ (300 - 400k per person)
• Payment: Cash, Transfer