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Made-in-Vietnam Portable Bum Guns to Penetrate US Market Next Year

Editor's note: Happy April Fools' Day! This article was part of Saigoneer's 2019 April Fools' Day celebration. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the writer’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.

Established in 2017, homegrown startup Voxidi has been producing portable bum guns that make life easier for many Vietnamese overseas and traveling abroad.

While the bidet is a familiar household staple in the majority of Asia, the Middle East, and some parts of southern Europe, the device is still a strange concept to many countries, the United States being one of them.

Voxidi, however, sees potential in this unwelcoming market landscape, and recently announced their expansion to the US market, World Investment Review reports. According to Voxidi's press release, the Vietnamese startup will establish a new brand identity and launch an updated version of their latest bum gun, the Voxi Gen 2. The new product will be designed to cater to traditional American culture and customs.

"The prevalence of pruritus ani in the US population will help us generate sales," said Voxidi co-founder Hai Nguyen. The condition, which causes itching in private areas, affects up to 5% of the US population, said Hai, citing a trustworthy Wikipedia entry on the subject. Medical experts have recommended that replacing toilet paper with a bidet will eventually make the symptoms go away. 

However, engineering experts also warn that if a bum gun's water pressure is too high and toilet paper is still used to wipe off water afterward, the user can end up with more medical problems, which is why Voxidi's new product for the US market comes with an air-drying function and water pressure levels designed to fit local preferences.

While the startup has not settled on a brand name for the new market, Hai emphasized that his company's branding strategies will capitalize on moral panics, an affinity for guns and the Western hemisphere's renewed obsession with ethnic cultures.

"It's also in our brand's interest to promote the national brand to achieve equal footing with Estonia and Finland on the global stage," Hai told Vietnam Chronicles.

Many tourists in Saigon, however, are skeptical about the expansion and the validity of bum guns in general. Nathan Brun told Young People's Daily that he doesn't understand the appeal of such a product. "Yesterday I walked into the bathroom of my hotel and mistook it for a showerhead," said Brun. 

[Photo/CC BY]

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